Blogging Identity Crisis

I’ve been gone for a while…quite a while…
Yeah, adjusting to this whole two kids thing has been, quite honestly, Hell.  The Little Man has been QUITE a handful (and that’s putting it mildly) and Robug has been struggling with the process of becoming a big sister…By the time Daddy Man gets home most evenings, I’m twitching ;).  These f’n kids are KICKING MY ASS.
Instead of posting, I’ve been taking solace in reading blogs that are getting me through the bad times: Moms Who Drink and Swear, Rants From Mommyland, RachRiot, Bad Parenting Moments, Hot Mess Mom, Scary Mommy, and Where’s the F#*king Mommy Manual are some of the women that are keeping me from a nervous breakdown and a 72-hour psychiatric hold three day medical retreat.
In addition, I deal with depression and anxiety that have been very hard to keep in check since the arrival of Cthulhu (the Little Man’s lovingly-bestowed nickname), so it’s been quite a demolition derby style of a ride 🙂
I’ve been doing a bit of sewing, despite having a handful to deal with with my two little gingers running around.  However, I’ve been struggling to find the motivation to blog about it for a few reasons:
1.  Apparently, to get a decent amount of attention at a link party, you need to have one of those expensive, fancy-shmancy cameras that takes professional-quality pictures.  I’m not spending that kind of money yet–I have a 10 month old that eats like a linebacker…I guess I just don’t get it…I was under the impression that these were a bunch of moms at home like me.  So, I’m working towards a camera…
2.  I’m an over-achiever and I strive for feedback and constructive criticism and comments.  Nothing bothers me more than to work extremely hard on something, take lots of mediocre (apparently…) pictures, write a great tutorial, take the time to post it to a bunch of link parties, take the time to visit other people and leave comments, and to get very little in return.  Additionally, I end up getting really, super, wicked pissed when I see link party features that are just “so innovative” or “so cute” and, quite honestly, I’ve seen it 1,000,000,000,000,000 times, it’s poorly made, or it’s just plain ugly (sorry, just because you have a little girl doesn’t mean you need to LAYER her in ridiculous amounts of ruffles–come on, what would Tim Gunn say?!  It’s just tacky and ugly.)  Now, I’ve earned a few features for some items–and LOVE that the hard work was recognized AND I am so honored and grateful, but then there are the times that a flag made of blueberries, strawberries, and cool whip is a features and I’m just like, WTF?!  How in the WORLD is that feature-worthy?!  I know, I’m bitter…
3.  I’ve come to learn that the sewing-blogger-community is quite a club and getting into it is like trying to jump socioeconomic status without winning the lotto, or trying to fart and not stink up a room–nearly impossible.  And, trying to get into the larger umbrella craft-blogger-community is as bad, if not worse.  I feel like I’m in high school gym class all over again, being the last girl–not picked–but told to walk on to the team with the least amount of players for basketball or volleyball because I’m a liability as opposed to an asset.  If they don’t already know you, good luck getting into the circle…
4.  I don’t feel like I fit in with the communities I’m trying to be a part of, which I’m sure is part of the problem, but I’m also finding a hard time finding a community that fits what I’m in to.  I’m reading and loving the blogs that are like me: foul-mouthed, sarcastic, fuck-the-world-and-your-judgement attitudes, and I want to be a part of that community, but that community doesn’t seem to have moms like that who also sew and craft.  Have I potentially found a niche to carve out?  Sure.  Now it’s just getting it done, getting some recognition and followers, and hopefully be able to make something out my blogging.
So that’s where I am and why I haven’t been blogging.  But, I have been spending a lot of time contemplating what I want my blog to be, who I want my audience to be, and what my goals are.  Honestly, I’ve been approaching it very similarly to how I used to plan out an entire year and my units when I taught.  With help from the Daddy Man and his knowledge of sites, entertaining an audience, marketing yourself as a product, and establishing your name/brand, I’ve decided to make some changes with the commencement of the New Year:
1.  I will be moving to Word Press–many bloggers seem to be going in this direction and I think it’s the way to go for me.  I’m one of those people who love to customize whatever can be customized (my current blog layout…).  Having a hosting platform that is significantly more streamlined is better for my Type-A,  matchy-matchy, organized, coordinated personality.
2.  I’m changing the overarching domain for the blog.  I have bought (because someone bought in 2009 and is just sitting on it…maybe some day…) and have it hosted on Word Press.  I will continue to own as well and will most likely have it redirect.  Still working out those details.
3.  Layout redesign–I have to add a kid to my my graphics, so I might as well work on rebranding to reflect a new name 🙂
4.  The tone and mood of the blog–I’m going to be more “me” and care a lot less about offending people.  If someone who doesn’t like foul language and fart-and-poop jokes doesn’t want to look at a cool project, fuck ’em.  I’ve come to terms with the fact that I need to work out a place for myself in the blogging world and I can’t change myself or my blogging persona because my ginger-iness just ends up coming out anyways…I will continue to  look at the sewing and crafting blogs I currently look at and will probably end up linking up projects to their link parties, but definitely not with the effort I used to put in.  So much of the other content on those blogs is just not me…Everyone who knows me knows that I’m well-spoken, smart, and opinionated as well as obscene, foul-mouthed, and more like a man than I like to admit.  Tying to fit that personality into a world dominated by Christians and Mormons is like showing up at a funeral in a red dress…you’re not fooling anyone 😉
5.  New, highly amusing content–my husband and I are weird: we don’t really fight, we work as a team, we have a TON of fun together, and we love being together.  The fruits of all our time spent together are generally hysterical, so I want to share our joy of the disgustingness and grey-areas of our life that keep us entertained on a daily basis.  I’m still going to blog about sewing because I love it, but it will probably be more entertaining as well (and that goes for any other crafty content as well).
This will all happen whenever I get it done–if I try to create a schedule, my children will JUST KNOW and will do EVERYTHING in their Cthulhu-and-Kracken powers to sabotage me.  So, those of you still with me and willing to see what this little blog will turn into, hang in there.

Happy New Year to all of you and yours from me and mine!

5 thoughts on “Blogging Identity Crisis

  1. Wow I just found this. Did you write all that in one sit-down session? Amazing. You aren’t really close to losing it but you did let it all hang out there. Understandably, many people don’t fit into those neat little cliques but there are many many wildly untidy ones. Did you used to be a tidy – before this? I noticed that this ranting is dated in January and I just found you now in December. Are things better?

    1. LOL, you found me almost a year after writing and I’m obviously not checking comments regularly because I’m responding 4 months later! I DEFINITELY used to be a tidy before my kids, but now I’m realistic 🙂 I’d say yes, things are better, but because I’ve not been blogging and I’ve only been sewing and crafting for myself (selfish, I know). I should probably start blogging again since I’m still getting hits, which is quite encouraging! And, I did sit and write this in one shot–I was venting 🙂 Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment, and I’m sorry for my gross delay in replying

  2. I’m right with you on some of this stuff. I love to read down to earth real people’s writing. Your post is a breath if fresh air. Gonna try the same approach but i ain’t redoing my blog just yet. Haven’t got the time, just wanna have some fun, make some nice things and share them with a smile and joke.
    I totally get the stress of having little ones, my 3 are bigger now but when they were very small I remember being stressed and knackerd all the time. Still following you. Let’s have some fun!

  3. Come visit me when you want, we share some common pains. Also a red head, mom of two boys–now men. or my masked persona,

    Consider not moving to WordPress as it becomes quite insular and many of your blogging tools are not free, but you will have to pay extra. Having said that, it’s a nice community over there. Happy New Year.

Comments are closed.